Beware the Food Chaos: 4 Ways to Shrink Bias-Spots
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”- Anais Nin
We’ve all been there (well at least before Covid-19 restrictions hit).
You’ve been to the BBQ, potluck, outdoor party, or restaurant that has a buffet style food distribution process. You are minding your business, patiently waiting in line while holding a plate that has well designed portion sections for the meal that you are about to experience.
You begin your journey through the salad section, the bread area, noodles, rice, etc.
You carefully place the food options on your plate, neatly into the well organized portion sections created by a group of culinary geniuses with extensive experience in how to keep the process of grub getting safe and sane.
Then you see it.
While you balance a smaller second plate on your forearm that’s holding a butterscotch brownie, to insure that toffee chips stay away from spaghetti sauce and the like, you glance back and witness a horrific food travesty happening just a few steps from you.
A person with the same well organized portion sections available to all, is crashing through the line like a wild animal.
Crazed, reckless, with zero regard for integrity or goodness, they act as though the well organized portion sections were never invented.
While you have diligently worked to follow the rules aligning your carefully chosen eats properly, they engage in a regrettable practice that has been around for decades but only recently has been given a name:
Food chaos.
Food Chaos:
verb
the ugly act of creating confusion and chaos by ignoring section food portion on plates at buffet style food distribution events and throwing food together, or simply piling food on a non sectioned plate into a ‘food mountain’ to the horror of others present. Said another way, they are a food “stacker”.
Food stacking in the midst of food chaos is a horrendous thing. It should and must be stopped.
Here’s the problem-Whenever I have tried to stage a food chaos intervention (as I am sure is true for you as well), the food stackers creating food chaos always say the same thing:
“It doesn’t matter. It all goes to the same place.”
It’s as if there is a guidebook or policy manual on food stacking and what to do if/when confronted. As an anti-stacker, I am deeply offended by the enduring legacy of this disgusting statement.
It’s as if they have no sense of sensibility.
No modicum of responsibility.
No measure of dignity.
Can you believe these people?
But here’s the biggest challenge of being an anti-stacker.
That somewhere, someplace another person is writing a pro-stacker blogpost on the Internet outlining the virtues of chaotic food dispensing.
You see, our pet peeves (like my aversion to food chaos) make sense to us.
In truth, pet peeves are invisible rules we live by that are “right”.
But are they really?
Should you eat ice cream in cup or a bowl?
Pour in the cereal before the milk or after?
Call a soft drink soda or pop?
Eat pumpkin or sweet potato pie?
Bottled water or tap?
I could go on and on. Our answer to these questions is a combination of exposure, preference, and perspective. I for example, pour the milk in first and cereal second.
The reason I do this is because my Mom told me that it “keeps your cereal from getting soggy. And we don’t want soggy cereal.”
Just like that, an invisible rule was created.
A little boy I was exposed to the odious threat of soggy cereal, was given a strategy for avoiding it, as a result it became my preference.
That preference now shapes my perspective and an invisible rule that I live by.
Is there anything necessarily wrong with soggy cereal?
Not necessarily (sorry mom!).
What is wrong is attributing negative value to a person who violates one of our invisible rules.
We do this unintentionally and automatically. It doesn't make us a bad person, but all people have the potential to do bad things when peering at the world through the sneaky lens of bias.
It happens in a flash without a second thought.
Surface judgments feed stereotypes and prejudices.
They become our reflexes.
They become our daily defaults.
They become our biases.
And to these biases we are largely blind.
We can be so blind to these “bias” spots that we will passionately deny they even exist.
This leads to the deceptive nature of of bias-spots.
They operate in a strange paradox:
They more we deny them, the bigger they get.
How to Shrink Your Bias-Spots:
Get off the Couch:
Everyone possess a “Comfort Zone” couch. It’s comfortable, it’s cozy, but we can’t grow if we don’t get off of it. Make intentional decisions to regularly move out of your comfort zone.
Learn the Difference between Wrong and Different:
Some things are wrong. Others are different. What is different might be wrong for you (ie soggy cereal), but not really wrong. When we make wrong out of what is just different, we make a blind ourselves and feed our bias.
Be More Curious and Less Certain:
Minimizing bias means engaging the world as a novice not an expert. An expert looks to teach, while a novice looks to learn. Be curious about the stories of others and things that you have yet to discover.
Ask More Questions:
A sentence that begins with “Please help me understand” almost always leads to a positive place. It positions us as learners and listeners, while valuing the experiences and perspectives of others.
With that all being said, if we ever get to go to buffets again….please don’t stack your food.
And always, always pour your milk in first and your cereal second.
At least that’s what my mama said.